Traveling Salesman Solves Traveling Salesman problem

My name is, well, that doesn't matter. But what is more important is who am I and why am I writing to all of you. I'm a salesman, a traveling salesman. I go around colleges around the country to sell the laboratory accessories that my company markets to help the society to become a 'knowledge oriented society', without much common sense. But more than being just a traveling salesman, I think I'm one of the misunderstood genius, like the 'good will hunting' type. Let me explain. Yesterday, I had been to one of the prominent institutes of the country to meet this professor who is supposed to be one of the biggest names in Computer Science research. When I reached the campus, his assistant told me that he was giving a lecture on some `NP' problem. When I enquired further, she told that it was some `Non-Pursuable' or something like that and there was some sales also involved. Being a genius as well as a salesman, I thought I might be able to help out. Hence I went into the lecture which was more than half way through. I think I reached at the right time when he explaining the Non-Pursuable problem which caught me by surprise: Traveling Salesman problem.

Being a genius, my thinking is very fast. Before the professor started talking about the example, I started enumerating all my problems which have not been solved by me during my years as a traveling salesman. I couldn't find a concrete one: There is this problem of waiting forever outside a professor cabinet or may be the problem of smiling at people whom you really think is moron. As my brain started evaluating the problem list I had for the third time, the professor started talking. I thought the professor might be telling some problem to be Non-Pursuable which the genius in me could have done it already and hence started to listen.

While he mumbled a lot of things, the bottom line was this: A traveling salesman cannot decide the shortest round trip route going to all places he needs to go before coming back to his origin. The first words that came out of my mouth was: "What the heck?". I mean, I thought that these prominent universities will be working on some very difficult problems, and they are talking of how to solve a salesman's problem? As a shrewd salesman, I can vouch you that I have solved this problem every time I set out to travel. Every single time, I have been able to save money on my travel allowance that the accountant gives me considering the shortest distance possible. You agree that the accounts departments always have a bunch of misers not giving away a single extra rupee.

I remember the other day I was talking to a professor, who was setting up an inter-disciplinary department in his university. I was supplying laboratory equipments to him when I asked him why this fuss about 'inter-disciplinary'. He remarked that because of the advancement in today's research, same problems are tackled in different groups without knowing each other. Worse, some problems solved in one area are still being pursued by others without the knowledge that a solution already exists. As I stood in the lecture, I could see the point in that professor's argument. Here I am, a brilliant salesman, already having solved the traveling salesman problem, but these supposed brilliant professors in the computer science department of a premier institute are still trying to solve it. It's a pity that even after having such powerful computers, they could not solve it.

Now I came out of the lecture sporting a beaming smile. I know I'm going to rock the world with this astonishing truth that scientists are breaking their heads. Tomorrow I'm going to meet the professor and tell him that I have the solution for the traveling salesman problem. I don't know what his reactions will be. I know he is an honest man and so won't cheat by taking my research result and publish in his name.

The reason why I'm writing you guys is, "Will I get a Nobel prize?".